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dearest blog, I've abandoned you long ago! wanted to write about my life since the previous blog but i noticed it was long ago and a lot had happened and i'm very lazy to type it out [you can see how lazy I am right?]

just wanna express my feeling over here. Even if you see with your own eyes you'll still don't believe it. but why? some said when we see something happened means its already proven for its existence but why still we tried to ignore all these？ human are ignorant perhaps. if this thing never ever happened then I would say how happy everyone would be.

please don't ever try to force yourself into accepting something beyond your expectation. give yourself some times to digest the whole thing. getting self busy with some other stuffs might be useful but is still didn't help when it come to the feeling deep buried in your heart and mind. it will ache with you touched that place. why you wanna put yourself in such a painful situation? don't wanna hurt anyone around so you choose to sacrifice yourself and kept hurting yourself.

no one will thank you for what you've done. it won't help no matter how! perhaps letting go is the best way, don't try to act as if it got nothing to do with you and without and effects but actually whatever it is, its still there. you never say anything but people around will sense it. treat yourself better please. you deserved that! I hate looking at myself because i'm so helpless that Iｃｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ　do anything. what i could do is just acting and let the time do his job. give me some hints pls.

last but not least, I'll be back to hometown in just 2 months time, please pray hard that within this period nothing will happen again after that tragic accident that took away my senior's life. RIP to them. finally I find a phrase very true, you'll never know what might happen in the next minute so please please treasure the loved one around you now starting from this very second!!

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